I have seen the future, and it’s dark… It’s 2018. Little Timmy Carbuncle and Jeremiah Hangnail exit the cinema, fleshly bedazzled by the lurid colours of Spider-man 7, in which our favourite webslinger battles a symbiote-possessed Aunt May. “That was proper rad,” says little Timmy Carbuncle. “I can’t believe we have to wait three more…